Because I’m A Secret Meme Whore

I was sort of not-really-but-kinda tagged to do this meme and because I’m a secret meme whore, I feel obliged to do it…

Things you have done during your lifetime:

 

(  ) Gone on a blind date

(  ) Skipped school

(  ) Watched someone die

(  ) Been to Canada.

(  ) Been to Mexico.

(  ) Been to Florida.

(  ) Been to Hawaii.

(X) Been on a plane.

(  ) Been on a helicopter.

(X) Been lost

(  ) Gone to Washington, DC.

(X) Swam in the ocean.

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robbers

(X) Recently colored with crayons.

(X) Sang Karaoke

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only.

(  ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t

(X) Made prank phone calls

(  ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(  ) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(  ) Watched the sunrise with someone

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice-skating

(X) Gone to the movies

(  ) Been deep sea fishing

(  ) Driven across the United States

(  ) Been in a hot air balloon

(  ) Been sky diving.

(  ) Gone snowmobiling

(  ) Lived in more than one country

(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets

(  ) Seen a falling star and made a wish

(  ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser

(  ) Seen the Statue of Liberty

(OhBloodyHellHowIWish…) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle

(  ) Been on a cruise

(X) Traveled by train

(X) Traveled by motorcycle

(X) Been horse back riding

(  ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR

(  ) Been to Disney World

(  ) Truly believe in the power of prayer

(  ) Been in a rain forest

(  ) Been to Niagara Falls

(  ) Ridden on an elephant

(  ) Swam with dolphins

(  ) Been to the Olympics

(  ) Walked on the Great Wall of China

(  ) Saw and heard a glacier calf

(  ) Been spinnaker flying

(  ) Been water-skiing

(  ) Been snow-skiing

(  ) Been to Westminster Abbey

(  ) Been to the Louvre

(  ) Swam in the Mediterranean

(  ) Been to a Major League Baseball game

(  ) Been to a National Football League Game

 

Now go forth and be annoyed and/or do this meme.

‘Dear’ Life

I’m keeping this short because you threw too much at me again.

STOP SUCKING.

Thank you.

From the one in the back seat.

To my ‘immune’ system

Dear Immune System,

Don’t you love me anymore?

We’ve been through a lot together you know, what with all my near-death experiences that have plagued us since birth. I know you liked those tonsils, but they were a pain in the… throat. A pain not disimilar to the one I have right now. Why do I have a sore throat, immune system? And more besides? Have you died?

Or have you just left for a while? We’ve had this discussion, if you want a break you need to give at least three week’s notice.

I didn’t see any notice, Mr. System.

I hope you’re satisfied, I haven’t left my bed in days and The Crazy has spread to my head.

Yes. You know exactly what’s happened.

I’m listening to God damn Avril Lavigne.

Grr…

Yours, Sk8er Boi Nicole.

To the one this post is about.

You…

Stop butting your way into my life already! It PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!

When I make plans for the weekend, don’t ask what we’re doing, because I don’t know. I do, however, know what I’m doing.

I. Me. One. Alone. Not With You.

Go away.

From Nicole, who is NOT sharing your schedule.

Three-year-plan update.

No. 93 can be ticked off!

Have spiritual epiphany.

Done. I’m feeling very fulfilled right now.

Here’s the story.

Letter ten: Vodafone UK

Dearest darling *cough cough* Vodafone UK.

Well well well… Don’t you have some explaining to do!

It’s nothing personal I’m sure, but could you please explain to me exactly why you didn’t warn me that you hadn’t activated that 1000 minutes for £5 offer when I used my phone earlier?

I understand that I will get my free minutes soon but I do not care. I prefer texting, and I now have no credit with which to do that.

Anyway, if you paid close enough attention you’d see that I don’t spend much longer than six minutes a month on the phone anyway, and so the offer of 1000 minutes is just a tad excessive.

Unless, of course, you DID realise that, and you’ve just robbed me to make ends meet down your end.

Note to self, Vodafone, note to self.

From an extremely pissed off Sagem MyX-2 owner.

Letter nine: Dear Rhiley (again)

Hey there baby!

How you doing today? Sleeping okay? I hope you’re all better now.

You gave me such a fright, baby! Did I tell you? I had a breakdown at school and ended up in inclusion, isn’t that insane? Grandma picked me up and took me home, then your daddy came and took me to visit you in hospital.

Ugh, so many wires, baby. I helped you, I held your hand and helped you keep the dummy in your mouth because you had wires going up your nose and into your stomach so you couldn’t suck properly and you didn’t like that. I turned off the annoying machine that beeped all the time and you were so small and kept coughing and whimpering… Poor baby.

You were telling me all about it of course. You kept squeezing my fingers and growling about it all. Your mummy and daddy were exhausted because you and your sisters were all ill and they had to take turns staying over in hospital because they didn’t want to leave you (and who could leave you? You’re so lovable, baby) and so I took over whilst they had something to eat.

You were so small and helpless, I felt so awful seeing you there. But I came and held your hand, just the same.

Because I love you that much.

And more, besides.

Lots of love

Auntie Nicole.